i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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