He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
