we have officially lost it.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
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What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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