People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
