I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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