the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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