my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
