garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
