Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
