Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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