So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
