Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
