apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
