Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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