the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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