He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
