Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions