so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy