How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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