I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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