So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
