the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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