Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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