went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize
