There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
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the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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