Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize