nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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