so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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