I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
