omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
