shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
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I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
This is classic penis vs brain.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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