Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
