If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
