I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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