We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
