Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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