Me. At least after what I've been through.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
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After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
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They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize