this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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