smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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