i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
