I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
