Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
