Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
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