If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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