I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
