I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
