how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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