Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
