make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
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she fell through a window trying to flash someone
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
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Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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