so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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