i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
MIDGETS
????
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
