You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
