Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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