yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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