thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
