so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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